The Dating…Game?

datingWhen you’re ready to experience something solid is dating really still considered a game? So you haven’t dated in a while because you decided to wait for a connection with someone to happen naturally. Now that the connection has been made when you were least expecting it, you’re totally unprepared. You’re hesitant about the first date, all of these questions start popping up in your head, what should I wear, where should we go, what should I ask him, how much do I tell her? Then your stomach starts knotting up and your palms start sweating. Are you nervous about whether he or she will like you? Why?

Crespective’s rule of thumb when it comes to dating is to just be your Authentic self.  Don’t boast about being a top notch fitness fanatic when the only time you run is to the bathroom every day. It’s cool that you want to put your best foot forward because you’re promoting what you have to offer and you should stand secure in that, but you don’t want to be so desperate to impress your date that you put out a false sense of your real self. Let’s say boasting and half-truths won your date over and 3 months down the line he/she is wondering why they never see you going to the gym, or lifting any weights, or why you’re 100 pounds overweight, yeah it all caught up with you, now what? If you don’t feel confident that your authentic self will intrigue your date, then it’s time to up your self-esteem. Or if you’re truly not doing anything intriguing, try setting some goals for yourself and plans to achieve them. What if your “best you” is not enough for your date, well then move on. Don’t be discouraged. They are not the one for you and they’re most certainly not the last person on earth to date. Even if that person turn out not to be right for you, they may end up being a good friend or a great networking contact.

Secondly, what’s with all of the rules? How many times should we communicate before we go on our first date? How long should I wait to call or text the next day? Really? Are we in high school or are we adults who know what we want and don’t want already? If you want to talk, call. If you’re not feeling them, say so. As long as you Respect yourself and be clear about your expectations, through conversation, you’ll have an inkling of whether that person are meeting those expectations, are moving in the direction of meeting them, or going in the opposite direction of what you expect in a mate. It’s important not to keep a murky gray area in the communication. No one wants to be left feeling unsure or led on. Besides, more weight will be lifted off of your shoulders and your conscious clean when you clear the air of any misconceptions.

Lastly, Confidence is key. Are you secure in who you are, what you’ve been through, and where you’re going? If you are, be proud, stand tall, wear it on your chest. People are attracted to someone who stands sure of themselves. Maybe your date has all of these accolades and accomplishments, and you’ve hit a bump in your road, have a “not so pretty” past, but are on the road to recovery. If you’re setting goals for yourself and progressively knocking them down one by one then you’re a winner. But you have to wear it confidently. How do you expect someone else to believe in what you bring to the table if you don’t believe enough in yourself? Never let anyone make you feel inferior because your success story does not match up to their expectations of what success is. You’re more than what you’ve been through and even stronger than you think because you overcame. You are valuable, act like it

Be authentic, respect yourself, have confidence, and date on!