The Dating…Game?

datingWhen you’re ready to experience something solid is dating really still considered a game? So you haven’t dated in a while because you decided to wait for a connection with someone to happen naturally. Now that the connection has been made when you were least expecting it, you’re totally unprepared. You’re hesitant about the first date, all of these questions start popping up in your head, what should I wear, where should we go, what should I ask him, how much do I tell her? Then your stomach starts knotting up and your palms start sweating. Are you nervous about whether he or she will like you? Why?

Crespective’s rule of thumb when it comes to dating is to just be your Authentic self.  Don’t boast about being a top notch fitness fanatic when the only time you run is to the bathroom every day. It’s cool that you want to put your best foot forward because you’re promoting what you have to offer and you should stand secure in that, but you don’t want to be so desperate to impress your date that you put out a false sense of your real self. Let’s say boasting and half-truths won your date over and 3 months down the line he/she is wondering why they never see you going to the gym, or lifting any weights, or why you’re 100 pounds overweight, yeah it all caught up with you, now what? If you don’t feel confident that your authentic self will intrigue your date, then it’s time to up your self-esteem. Or if you’re truly not doing anything intriguing, try setting some goals for yourself and plans to achieve them. What if your “best you” is not enough for your date, well then move on. Don’t be discouraged. They are not the one for you and they’re most certainly not the last person on earth to date. Even if that person turn out not to be right for you, they may end up being a good friend or a great networking contact.

Secondly, what’s with all of the rules? How many times should we communicate before we go on our first date? How long should I wait to call or text the next day? Really? Are we in high school or are we adults who know what we want and don’t want already? If you want to talk, call. If you’re not feeling them, say so. As long as you Respect yourself and be clear about your expectations, through conversation, you’ll have an inkling of whether that person are meeting those expectations, are moving in the direction of meeting them, or going in the opposite direction of what you expect in a mate. It’s important not to keep a murky gray area in the communication. No one wants to be left feeling unsure or led on. Besides, more weight will be lifted off of your shoulders and your conscious clean when you clear the air of any misconceptions.

Lastly, Confidence is key. Are you secure in who you are, what you’ve been through, and where you’re going? If you are, be proud, stand tall, wear it on your chest. People are attracted to someone who stands sure of themselves. Maybe your date has all of these accolades and accomplishments, and you’ve hit a bump in your road, have a “not so pretty” past, but are on the road to recovery. If you’re setting goals for yourself and progressively knocking them down one by one then you’re a winner. But you have to wear it confidently. How do you expect someone else to believe in what you bring to the table if you don’t believe enough in yourself? Never let anyone make you feel inferior because your success story does not match up to their expectations of what success is. You’re more than what you’ve been through and even stronger than you think because you overcame. You are valuable, act like it

Be authentic, respect yourself, have confidence, and date on!


The Numbers don’t lie, check the score board!

In recognition of June being Men’s Health Month, Crespective is putting the numbers out there. The life expectancy of Males at Birth is 76.2 years as opposed to Women at Birth 81.0 years. Men die at higher rates than women from the top 10 causes of death, 6 including:


        Cause & Rate     Men     Women

  1. Heart Disease    22.8       143.0
  2. Cancer               211.6     146.8
  3. Injuries               51.1        24.6
  4. Stroke                39.7       37.8
  5. Suicide              19.2        4.9
  6. HIV/AIDS           4.4          1.7


“There is a silent health crisis in America…it’s that fact that, on average, American men live sicker and die younger than American women.”

-Dr. David Gremillion, Men’s Health Network

So the big question is what’s the reason? In a recent survey from African-American males ages 20-58, Crespective found that out of 7 men who considered their health very important only 3 visited their primary care doctor annually. That stat alone could be one reason for such an unbalance in health concerning men and women.

Designed to encourage early detection and treatment of disease among men and boys, Men’s Health Month brings awareness to our male society concerning health issues that can be prevented. Some issues targeted are depression, anxiety, stress, cardiovascular disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, prostate health, and sexually transmitted diseases especially in younger males. To support Men’s Health we wear blue. That’s not it!! Many communities provide health fairs and yearly health symposiums to contribute to the well-being of men and boys by way of educating them and screening for certain diseases. Also with the national initiative to get affordable healthcare to everyone, President Obama has incorporated free preventative health services as a benefit in Marketplace plans and other healthcare insurance plans. Go Mr. President!! If free annual wellness visits doesn’t encouragement men to get the proper screenings, the fact that men are living approximately 5 years less than women should be an encouraging factor for men to act now in taking charge of your health. This statistic doesn’t only affect our men, pre-mature death in men is causing a rise in poverty in our older women because traditionally in our older generation, the men “brought home the bacon”. We need you men and want you to live your best years stronger and longer.

For more info
please visit Men’s